at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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