My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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