we're blogging at a bar
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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