i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
