no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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