I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
