i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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