Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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