So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
