That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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