just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize