I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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