thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
