therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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