My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
