And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
