How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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