How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize