So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
