So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
