HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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