So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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