Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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