Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
