I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize