is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
