I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
