It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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