Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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