using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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