...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
