we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We are all done wearing pants today
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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