So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
