What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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