my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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