I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I seem to have left my pride at pride
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize