I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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