Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
vagina is talking i cant
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
