His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
