he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
