You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
