I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
