I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
