You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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