ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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