I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
