just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
