He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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