Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I just went to clothing optional bar
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
