So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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