Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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