Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
They took my balls.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
