My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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