he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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