Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
