walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
