I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
