We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
