ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
