Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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