Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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