Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
that may or may not have been my penis.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
