She said her name was "party"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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