So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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