Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
