On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
