it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
