$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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