Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
