he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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