we have officially lost it.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize