I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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