this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
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